photo credit: c r z

My friend and former college roommate, Christian, posted a piece on his blog yesterday entitled ‘What Makes a Good Mother? Not Her Breasts’.  In this self-admitted ‘rant’, he talked about the recent formula recall by Simulac, enacted because some containers didn’t meet their quality standards (The manufacturer, Abbott, was concerned that beatles may have come in contact with the formula at one of their packaging plants).  Christian then segued into a discussion of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding.

Apparently, this is what you do when you want to incite your readers.

His normally quiet blog space was quickly descended upon by supporters of both views, and they quickly took to passionate defenses.  Luckily, in this debate, there was very little name-calling, and the discussion stayed pretty civil.  This is not always the case.

The whole thing reminded me of discussions with my wife shortly before the birth of the Monkeyling.  There were so many things to be decided before the birth of our son, and breastfeeding was just one more topic to broach.  I knew there were two camps of thought when it came to feeding our child – breastfeeding and formula-feeding.  Honestly, I knew from the beginning the approach we would take, so there wasn’t a lot for my wife and I to talk about on that subject; she would breastfeed our son, because it was the the best option for him.  We both did a lot of googling about breastfeeding and read lots of reports/accounts showing the myriad benefits to breastfeeding your baby.  Not just assumed benefits: ones with actual scientific evidence to support them.

Kids who are breastfed exclusively for their first six months of life are believed to have healthier immune systems, fewer health issues, more balanced behavior, and the ability to jump over buildings up to ten stories in height.  Okay, I may have made one of those up.  Breastfeeding also makes for smarter children, the studies showed (Sources: World Health Organization (WHO) and the US Center for Disease Control (CDC)).  Couple that evidence with our desires to raise our son as ‘naturally’ as possible – without chemicals and pills and drugs, etc. – the decision was as close to a no-brainer as there is.

And, luckily, our son took to the breast with very little difficulty.  He successfully breastfed from my wife for almost a year before he decided that he was done with it, and started refusing the breast.  It doesn’t take long for the milk to go away, then, so we had to move to formula for a while to supplement the regular food he was eating for a couple of months.

It was around that time that we were looking into supplemental nutrition, and figuring out how to make sure our little Monkeyling got all of the stuff he needed from what he was ingesting.  When doing this, I came across lots of accounts from mothers and fathers who hadn’t been able to breastfeed, and had to go alternate routes in order to feed their kids.  And it made me realize I had taken some things for granted: that my child would automatically want to take to the breast, and that my wife would be able to feed him without any trouble.

That discussion yesterday on Christian’s blog, as well as discussions I’ve had with my wife since, prompted me to write this little piece.  My wife wrote a piece about alternative options to breasfeeding for her chiropractic clinic.  It’s an interesting read that I recommend.

Now, I will give my stance on breastfeeding  (as a husband and as a dad of one breastfed child) and then I want to hear from you all in the comments with your thoughts, views, etc.  Just promise to leave the hateful name-calling and other vitriole at home.

Breastfeeding is natural.  After seeing first-hand how beautiful this practice is and how amazingly connected it made my wife feel to our son, I know we won’t go any other way with our future children, if possible.  The key words there are if possible.  Of course there may be something that will come up to make us re-think our approach.  Perhaps our next child will not like breastfeeding, or perhaps my wife will be physically unable to nurse the next time.  Nothing is ever set in stone.  And our job as parents is to react to those sort of situations and make the best of them.  But, if at all possible, we’re just far too happy with all the benefits that come along with breastfeeding our children.

I realize that not everyone will have the same luck we did when getting our son to breastfeed.  Some mothers experience so much pain and discomfort that they’re never able to get past it to nurse their children.  Other moms are “non-traditional”, by which I mean they adopted their child or are step-mothers or something along those lines, and have no breastmilk to give.  Obviously these mothers can still be amazing, wonderful mothers – breastfeeding is not the determining criteria of what makes a great mom.

What I find strange is this:  Most people consider breastfeeding to be the norm with their child.  You have a child, you breastfeed it, unless something else changes that plan.  But, the reality is that only 40% of children are exclusively breastfed from birth until age six (Source: WHO).  Forty percent!!  So, you have a majority of parents giving their children formula, but at the same time, they think they’re in the minority, and therefore feel a little guilty about doing so.  I think that guilt often finds it’s way out in the form of defensiveness and unease with the subject.  And that shouldn’t be the case!

I think a lot more parents can breastfeed than do.  I think there are a lot of people who choose formula for their child because it’s easier on their lifestyle.  It’s easier to make a bottle than it is to go through the breastfeeding process.  It’s easier to give a bottle than to have to pump the milk or be nearby so that if the child is hungry, they can gave them a feeding.  Breastfeeding and/or pumping milk interrupts work schedules and social schedules and is a difficult thing to do.  But, it’s still the natural thing to do…and is the best way to do it, if at all possible.

The other side of that, obviously, is the group of parents who have tried and want to breastfeed, but for whatever reason cannot.  And my heart goes out to them..it truly does.  It hurt me to hear about the guilt that Christian’s wife felt when she was unable to breastfeed her daughters.  It has to be a very difficult thing to hear your child crying and know you can’t provide for them in the way that you want to.  But, these are the people that formula was designed for.  When you can’t make the milk or the baby won’t take it despite repeated attempts at feeding, then formula is a wonderful fall-back.  We’re truly fortunate to be in a time where technology allows for us to care for our children like this.  (Christian wrote a follow-up post to his earlier piece, and I think it hammers home his points, which are all valid)

But I think more people use it to return to a lifestyle that’s more convenient for them.  And by doing so, I think they rob their children of some very important things.  Perhaps not intentionally and certainly not maliciously, but it happens.  And with some forethought and preparation, giving your child breastmilk as an alternative is often an option.  And, if possible, should be one more often.

Now for the important part:  what do YOU think of the debate?  Where do you land in it, and what is your reasoning?  Keep things civil and respectful, please, but I want to hear all of your thoughts on this polarizing subject.

Me and my Little Monkey, just before his 1st birthday in August of 2008.

My son turned three this last weekend.  Three-years old.  I’ve caught myself thinking about those words a few times over the last couple of weeks.  Three years.  It seems like such a short period of time.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it really is a short period of time.  But it’s amazing what those fast-flying years can encompass.

Three years ago, we brought him back from the hospital.  He was tiny and frail, and I kept thinking I was going to hold him wrong or bend something the wrong way.  It was insane to think that my wife and I had been put in charge of this little human being.  Mostly, because it was ME (my wife would have done fine regardless).  I sometimes had tenuous control of my own life…and now I was one of the people entrusted with someone else’s?  That realization can do powerful things, I think.  It makes you think about what you want in life: what’s important and what you’re doing with yourself.  It makes you take the focus off of “you” and even your significant other, for a while at least, and realize that there’s something bigger now.

I made a promise to my son in those first couple of days he was in our house.  I promised that, no matter what happened in life, no matter how crazy it was in our house, I would be there for him.  It didn’t matter what he did that might anger or disappoint others, I would always be there for him.  Unconditionally.  I know, it’s pretty cheesy – I think a lot of parents think those thoughts and mean them – but I said it out loud to him.  I said it while holding and rocking him one night, trying to calm him when he was upset, and I meant every last syllable of the words I spoke.

As he gets older, he tries to test me on my resolve.  He does things for sheer spite, it seems at times.  He fights me and pushes me and makes me so angry I feel myself turning red.  But I’m never really angry at him; only his emotions and actions.  And he can turn that anger away quickly with a quick smile and a laugh, or a familiar phrase.  It’s amazing, really.

I’m beginning to realize that these early years of his truly are fleeting.  Three years.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s a drop in the bucket…but they fly by quickly.  So I’ll soak in the morning naps on the couch with him.  I’ll cherish the times he comes to me and asks don’t I want to go to his room and play legos?  I’ll hang on to the cute way he says certain things (“Is that a good idea?” after every idea he comes up with, for example).  I’ll savor the way he tells his mother that sometimes he just wants “Daddy Time”, and wants her to go away so we can hang out together.  I am hanging on to it all…because the last three years sometimes feel like a blur.  But they’re some of the best of my life.

Happy birthday, little monkey.

I make this look *good*

The Little Monkey decided to help his mom out with the cooking last weekend, and I snapped off a few pictures, because…well…he looked like this.  Mrs. Monkey insists that he’s a big help in the kitchen, but I think she secretly just likes to see him covered in various ingredients.  Luckily, this time, it was pretty straight-forward-ly chocolate, which all comes off with a bit of water and cooperation from the child.  Which, as you might guess, is where I ran into difficulty.  Apparently he thought that chocolate was a good look for him, and I could just go climb a tree if I thought that I was going to come after him with a wash rag and change all of that.  After a small bit of chasing, and a rather one-sided conversation that involved me trying to convince him he’d be much happier without the layer of chocolate surrounding the lower half of his face, he allowed me to start the cleanup process.  Which, in itself, was pretty interesting.  During the course of feeding himself spoon after spoon of leftover chocolate cupcake batter (no eggs, so it was pretty harmless), he managed to lodge it in lots of fun places.

Did I get any on me?

If you look closely, you can see a sizeable amount of the goop-like batter surrounding his right nostril.  You might be inclined to think that it stayed just on the outside of said nostril.  Those leaning towards that inclination would be wrong.  Oh, it was up there.  My guess is that he had the spoon there and inhaled…snorting chocolate at age 1.5….  Where did my parenting go wrong??

What’s truly funny is that he didn’t complain at all.  Apparently, it’s not an uncomfortable sensation, because he was pretty happy to go about his business consuming the chocolate if I’d just leave him alone.  But, being the parent, it’s my job to crush all happiness now, and so his bowl and spoon licking activities were at an end for the day.  But, they did make for some cute pictures.  Good to enjoy now, and possibly when he invites his date over to meet the parents one day in high school…  Nah, I wouldn’t do that.  That’s what “first bath” pictures are for.

So, I have this pending gig as a blogger for a Dallas pro sports blog aptly named DallasProSports.com. They needed a piece on the Dallas Stars, who they want me to cover each week, by Monday night. Well…we had some family stuff come up and I didn’t get to it. But, last night, between helping my wife study for a big test she has today and trying to get some food in my stomach, I managed to scrawl out 7 paragraphs on the upcoming training camp the Stars are set to open, and that is the post I sent. I’m hoping it won’t be held against me, and they’ll let me keep posting for them, cause it sounds like a lot of fun. As of the time of writing this post, however, it was not posted. Maybe later tonight?

Now, other than that, I figured I would catch you up on what life has been like. Mrs. Monkey and I have finally come up with a plan for getting up with the Monkeyling that doesn’t involve us wanting to kill one another every morning. It’s revolutionary in it’s scope – get this…. We alternate days. I know! I know! Don’t spread the idea too much – we’re planning on patenting it. So, yeah…we each get to sleep in (8:00 AM) every other day. It’s wonderful.

I’m still working a lot of hours for my wonderful company and Mrs. Monkey is still going to school lots of hours. Those hours not taken up by work & school are ravenously consumed by the Monkeyling. But that’s a good thing – just peek at the photos that have been posted. How can ya not love that face?

AND, on a random tangent that has nothing to do with previous subjects, there was this new study released by the Journal of the American Medical Association saying that bisphenol A (BPA), a common ingredient in many plastic bottles, might be linked to more health issues than previously believed. I first found out about this issue when trying to find bottles for the Monkeyling. Mrs. Monkey was adamant on the “No BPA” rule, and after studying up, I agreed. For those who don’t know, BPA is used in hardened plastics in a wide range of consumer goods including food containers, baby bottles, water bottles, eyeglass lenses and compact discs. Many scientists believe it can act like the hormone estrogen, and animal studies have linked it with breast, prostate and reproductive system problems and some cancers. Fun stuff! Well, the new study that came out has shown there may be a link now with heart disease and diabetes in adults. It’s really not good. So, avoid bottles with BPA (or with the recycle number 7 on them, as they are most commonly found in those). Or, you can do what I did yesterday, and pick up a Sigg bottle. These things rock. I want another one already.

The Greeblepix contest for this month is up, and I’ve once again to submit a picture of the cutest little boy in the world (this determination is an independent conclusion, with no influence from any biased parties). How can you NOT think he’s just adorable, ya know? Anyway – real post coming later today. I’m such a slacker…

My friend Aimee over at GreebleMonkey is running a photo contest, and the above is my entry. It’s one of my favorite shots of my little guy from this summer. Go check out all of the fun entries here.

Whilst in Florida, I managed to infect my finger. Not sure how it happened, and the urgent care staff who tended to me didn’t seem to have any guesses to hazard either, so it remains a mystery. I would post the picture, but the last person I shared it with went running from the hills and hasn’t been heard from since. If you really want to see, let me know, but we’ll just leave it categorized as “gross”. It has since recovered quite well, thanks to antibiotics and pain relief, so I should be back to normal before long.

…well, as normal as I get.

1. This is good information to know:
24

2. If you haven’t signed up already (and nearly all my friends haven’t, at least as far as I know), go to Twitter and sign up for an account. I update on Twitter pretty regularly – a few times a day, anyway, usually. And there are some great Tech and Pop Culture folks out there that you can follow and get an inside into what’s new with them. Please add me – I’m WiredMonkey there too. Here’s an easy to understand explanation of how it works.

I will try to update more regularly. The little monkeyling is doing well. Here’s a pic of him to wrap things up: