photo credit: c r z

My friend and former college roommate, Christian, posted a piece on his blog yesterday entitled ‘What Makes a Good Mother? Not Her Breasts’.  In this self-admitted ‘rant’, he talked about the recent formula recall by Simulac, enacted because some containers didn’t meet their quality standards (The manufacturer, Abbott, was concerned that beatles may have come in contact with the formula at one of their packaging plants).  Christian then segued into a discussion of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding.

Apparently, this is what you do when you want to incite your readers.

His normally quiet blog space was quickly descended upon by supporters of both views, and they quickly took to passionate defenses.  Luckily, in this debate, there was very little name-calling, and the discussion stayed pretty civil.  This is not always the case.

The whole thing reminded me of discussions with my wife shortly before the birth of the Monkeyling.  There were so many things to be decided before the birth of our son, and breastfeeding was just one more topic to broach.  I knew there were two camps of thought when it came to feeding our child – breastfeeding and formula-feeding.  Honestly, I knew from the beginning the approach we would take, so there wasn’t a lot for my wife and I to talk about on that subject; she would breastfeed our son, because it was the the best option for him.  We both did a lot of googling about breastfeeding and read lots of reports/accounts showing the myriad benefits to breastfeeding your baby.  Not just assumed benefits: ones with actual scientific evidence to support them.

Kids who are breastfed exclusively for their first six months of life are believed to have healthier immune systems, fewer health issues, more balanced behavior, and the ability to jump over buildings up to ten stories in height.  Okay, I may have made one of those up.  Breastfeeding also makes for smarter children, the studies showed (Sources: World Health Organization (WHO) and the US Center for Disease Control (CDC)).  Couple that evidence with our desires to raise our son as ‘naturally’ as possible – without chemicals and pills and drugs, etc. – the decision was as close to a no-brainer as there is.

And, luckily, our son took to the breast with very little difficulty.  He successfully breastfed from my wife for almost a year before he decided that he was done with it, and started refusing the breast.  It doesn’t take long for the milk to go away, then, so we had to move to formula for a while to supplement the regular food he was eating for a couple of months.

It was around that time that we were looking into supplemental nutrition, and figuring out how to make sure our little Monkeyling got all of the stuff he needed from what he was ingesting.  When doing this, I came across lots of accounts from mothers and fathers who hadn’t been able to breastfeed, and had to go alternate routes in order to feed their kids.  And it made me realize I had taken some things for granted: that my child would automatically want to take to the breast, and that my wife would be able to feed him without any trouble.

That discussion yesterday on Christian’s blog, as well as discussions I’ve had with my wife since, prompted me to write this little piece.  My wife wrote a piece about alternative options to breasfeeding for her chiropractic clinic.  It’s an interesting read that I recommend.

Now, I will give my stance on breastfeeding  (as a husband and as a dad of one breastfed child) and then I want to hear from you all in the comments with your thoughts, views, etc.  Just promise to leave the hateful name-calling and other vitriole at home.

Breastfeeding is natural.  After seeing first-hand how beautiful this practice is and how amazingly connected it made my wife feel to our son, I know we won’t go any other way with our future children, if possible.  The key words there are if possible.  Of course there may be something that will come up to make us re-think our approach.  Perhaps our next child will not like breastfeeding, or perhaps my wife will be physically unable to nurse the next time.  Nothing is ever set in stone.  And our job as parents is to react to those sort of situations and make the best of them.  But, if at all possible, we’re just far too happy with all the benefits that come along with breastfeeding our children.

I realize that not everyone will have the same luck we did when getting our son to breastfeed.  Some mothers experience so much pain and discomfort that they’re never able to get past it to nurse their children.  Other moms are “non-traditional”, by which I mean they adopted their child or are step-mothers or something along those lines, and have no breastmilk to give.  Obviously these mothers can still be amazing, wonderful mothers – breastfeeding is not the determining criteria of what makes a great mom.

What I find strange is this:  Most people consider breastfeeding to be the norm with their child.  You have a child, you breastfeed it, unless something else changes that plan.  But, the reality is that only 40% of children are exclusively breastfed from birth until age six (Source: WHO).  Forty percent!!  So, you have a majority of parents giving their children formula, but at the same time, they think they’re in the minority, and therefore feel a little guilty about doing so.  I think that guilt often finds it’s way out in the form of defensiveness and unease with the subject.  And that shouldn’t be the case!

I think a lot more parents can breastfeed than do.  I think there are a lot of people who choose formula for their child because it’s easier on their lifestyle.  It’s easier to make a bottle than it is to go through the breastfeeding process.  It’s easier to give a bottle than to have to pump the milk or be nearby so that if the child is hungry, they can gave them a feeding.  Breastfeeding and/or pumping milk interrupts work schedules and social schedules and is a difficult thing to do.  But, it’s still the natural thing to do…and is the best way to do it, if at all possible.

The other side of that, obviously, is the group of parents who have tried and want to breastfeed, but for whatever reason cannot.  And my heart goes out to them..it truly does.  It hurt me to hear about the guilt that Christian’s wife felt when she was unable to breastfeed her daughters.  It has to be a very difficult thing to hear your child crying and know you can’t provide for them in the way that you want to.  But, these are the people that formula was designed for.  When you can’t make the milk or the baby won’t take it despite repeated attempts at feeding, then formula is a wonderful fall-back.  We’re truly fortunate to be in a time where technology allows for us to care for our children like this.  (Christian wrote a follow-up post to his earlier piece, and I think it hammers home his points, which are all valid)

But I think more people use it to return to a lifestyle that’s more convenient for them.  And by doing so, I think they rob their children of some very important things.  Perhaps not intentionally and certainly not maliciously, but it happens.  And with some forethought and preparation, giving your child breastmilk as an alternative is often an option.  And, if possible, should be one more often.

Now for the important part:  what do YOU think of the debate?  Where do you land in it, and what is your reasoning?  Keep things civil and respectful, please, but I want to hear all of your thoughts on this polarizing subject.

Me and my Little Monkey, just before his 1st birthday in August of 2008.

My son turned three this last weekend.  Three-years old.  I’ve caught myself thinking about those words a few times over the last couple of weeks.  Three years.  It seems like such a short period of time.  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it really is a short period of time.  But it’s amazing what those fast-flying years can encompass.

Three years ago, we brought him back from the hospital.  He was tiny and frail, and I kept thinking I was going to hold him wrong or bend something the wrong way.  It was insane to think that my wife and I had been put in charge of this little human being.  Mostly, because it was ME (my wife would have done fine regardless).  I sometimes had tenuous control of my own life…and now I was one of the people entrusted with someone else’s?  That realization can do powerful things, I think.  It makes you think about what you want in life: what’s important and what you’re doing with yourself.  It makes you take the focus off of “you” and even your significant other, for a while at least, and realize that there’s something bigger now.

I made a promise to my son in those first couple of days he was in our house.  I promised that, no matter what happened in life, no matter how crazy it was in our house, I would be there for him.  It didn’t matter what he did that might anger or disappoint others, I would always be there for him.  Unconditionally.  I know, it’s pretty cheesy – I think a lot of parents think those thoughts and mean them – but I said it out loud to him.  I said it while holding and rocking him one night, trying to calm him when he was upset, and I meant every last syllable of the words I spoke.

As he gets older, he tries to test me on my resolve.  He does things for sheer spite, it seems at times.  He fights me and pushes me and makes me so angry I feel myself turning red.  But I’m never really angry at him; only his emotions and actions.  And he can turn that anger away quickly with a quick smile and a laugh, or a familiar phrase.  It’s amazing, really.

I’m beginning to realize that these early years of his truly are fleeting.  Three years.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s a drop in the bucket…but they fly by quickly.  So I’ll soak in the morning naps on the couch with him.  I’ll cherish the times he comes to me and asks don’t I want to go to his room and play legos?  I’ll hang on to the cute way he says certain things (“Is that a good idea?” after every idea he comes up with, for example).  I’ll savor the way he tells his mother that sometimes he just wants “Daddy Time”, and wants her to go away so we can hang out together.  I am hanging on to it all…because the last three years sometimes feel like a blur.  But they’re some of the best of my life.

Happy birthday, little monkey.

photo credit: Robert S. Donovan

Yet another site design.  I think it was needed this time, though.  The latest experiment with the site, allowing visitors to contribute and have it flow in a conversational kind of manner was mostly a flop.  At least for now.  I think I need to share a bit more and build up a rapport with you folks before that sort of effort will be truly successful.

So, aside from that, it’s been a busy summer at Casa del Monkey.  The Little Monkey’s birthday was just over a week ago, and we had a fun time throwing a party for him.  He celebrated it in style, of course.  I’ll try and get a couple of pictures up of that shortly.  This past weekend, we attended a party at a friend’s house, and that was really nice.  We have realized we don’t get out as much as we need to.

I’m slowly working my way through my “Summer Reading List”.  I asked my Facebook friends to submit 1 or 2 of their favorite books to me, and built a summer reading list around the submissions I received.  Well, it’s probably more aptly titled a “2009 Reading List”, because it’s going to take me at least until the end of the year to finish this, and probably into next year as well.  But, it’s been enjoyable reading thus far.  Currently, I’m reading Now I Can Die in Peace: How ESPN’s Sports Guy Found Salvation, with a Little Help from Nomar, Pedro, Shawshank, and the 2004 Red Sox. It’s a really great read.  I’d read Bill Simmons before, in ESPN’s magazine, I think, but I hadn’t really gotten a good dose of his work.  It’s really good reading, especially if you’re a sports fan from New England.  Which, HEY!  I am.

Aside from that, I’ve been working on the Other Website, which if you haven’t checked out, and you’re a fan of hockey, please do!  I think you’ll enjoy it.  We’re going to be rolling into hockey season in the next month or so, and things are really going to pick up there, I think.  I’m a strange mixture of nervous and excited.  Which feeling is prevailing depends on the day.

photo credit: tranchis

Just getting a chance to settle down after yet another very busy day. Sometimes it’s just wonderful to be able to sit down with a big mug of water, feel the A/C flowing over you, and catch your breath when the day has been “go, go, go!”  That’s where I’m at right now.

Things over at my other blog have been really busy.  But, it’s a busy I really enjoy.  Tasting some success in the blogosphere is very nice when you’ve been working at getting yourself out there for so long.  I thought that one day I might build my personal blog into something that would have lots of readers, but it turns out that my ‘hobby blog’ was what did it.  Either way, it’s very nice.  I’m getting the interactive communication that I was hoping I would, and learning lots of new ways to make it more successful.  So, if you haven’t gotten to look at it, please go take a look!

The day job is keeping me pretty busy when I’m not reporting on all things hockey.  Usually the summer is pretty quiet, as we had mostly supported the universities in the past, and their summer class enrollments are quite smaller than the Fall and Spring.  But, with referrals pouring in from Apple pretty regularly, we’re really keeping steady work in the shop.  It’s enjoyable, but makes me appreciate when I can relax and just have some time to myself, for sure.

Family life keeps me busy when I’m not occupied with those other things.  I love that, though.  I don’t get to spend enough time with my wife and son, really.  But, we grab the moments we can.  This last weekend was great; we sat at home, had family over on Saturday for a big cookout, and then spent Sunday doing absolutely nothing.  Other than enjoying each others’ company…which was wonderful.

I make this look *good*

The Little Monkey decided to help his mom out with the cooking last weekend, and I snapped off a few pictures, because…well…he looked like this.  Mrs. Monkey insists that he’s a big help in the kitchen, but I think she secretly just likes to see him covered in various ingredients.  Luckily, this time, it was pretty straight-forward-ly chocolate, which all comes off with a bit of water and cooperation from the child.  Which, as you might guess, is where I ran into difficulty.  Apparently he thought that chocolate was a good look for him, and I could just go climb a tree if I thought that I was going to come after him with a wash rag and change all of that.  After a small bit of chasing, and a rather one-sided conversation that involved me trying to convince him he’d be much happier without the layer of chocolate surrounding the lower half of his face, he allowed me to start the cleanup process.  Which, in itself, was pretty interesting.  During the course of feeding himself spoon after spoon of leftover chocolate cupcake batter (no eggs, so it was pretty harmless), he managed to lodge it in lots of fun places.

Did I get any on me?

If you look closely, you can see a sizeable amount of the goop-like batter surrounding his right nostril.  You might be inclined to think that it stayed just on the outside of said nostril.  Those leaning towards that inclination would be wrong.  Oh, it was up there.  My guess is that he had the spoon there and inhaled…snorting chocolate at age 1.5….  Where did my parenting go wrong??

What’s truly funny is that he didn’t complain at all.  Apparently, it’s not an uncomfortable sensation, because he was pretty happy to go about his business consuming the chocolate if I’d just leave him alone.  But, being the parent, it’s my job to crush all happiness now, and so his bowl and spoon licking activities were at an end for the day.  But, they did make for some cute pictures.  Good to enjoy now, and possibly when he invites his date over to meet the parents one day in high school…  Nah, I wouldn’t do that.  That’s what “first bath” pictures are for.

Today was a day on the go for sure – lots of errand running and feeding of the little monk in the parking lots of North Dallas. We left for some lunch with friends around noon, expecting to be back around 2:30 or 3, and we got in around 7:30pm. Crazy day.

That’s all I have for right now. Hope everyone is doing well while gearing up for the fun holiday here in the States coming next week. We’re very excited about it, and have lots to be thankful for – this year more than most.

Mrs. Monkey and I are getting things in order to put Thanksgiving Dinner on the table this year. It’s going to be a lot of fun this time around – we’ll have Mrs. Monkey’s mom and grandmother here, as well as our good friends A&E. We’re very excited about the full table. I’m going to cook some of my famous pork stuffing and Mrs. Monkey is making her famous pumpkin pecan pie. Yum!! Any favorites out there? The stuffing is something my mom made every year and I just LOVED. I could eat it all by itself by the pound. What was your family’s favorite dish?

Oh, and I have a TV in my office that stopped working a few months ago. It just all of a sudden up and died one day. Was the strangest thing… Well, I’ve tried to turn it on and see if it’s running a few times but the status hasn’t changed. So, I was sitting in there the other night, and I just had this feeling I should turn it on and check…I ignored the urge for a while, but finally I turned it on, just to appease the notion. Well, sure enough, it was working again. It was the weirdest thing. But, at least it’s working again.