Father, Husband, Geek. One Cool Monkey.
Ben
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Homepage: http://www.onecoolmonkey.com
Posts by Ben
As You Wish…
Mar 29th
Tonight, my wife and I decided to enjoy one of our favorite movies after the Little Monkey had gone to bed. We put in the Princess Bride, and watched until we were both overcome with fatigue. The decision to watch the movie came about because of a random quote I had made the other day (as I’m known to do), and she says it’s been in her head ever since.
It has taken me back to the first time I watched the movie – gathered with some friends in my best friend’s bedroom, on the night Andre the Giant passed away. I think I was one of the last to see the film, but then, I led a pretty sheltered movie-watching existence in my younger years. I can honestly say it wasn’t my favorite movie after watching it, but it held the #2 spot very solidly. #1 is, and always has been, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But, what is not to love about the Princess Bride? As the grandpa says – “Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..” It’s great stuff. I fell in love with it immediately, and have treasured it ever since. It’s one of those movies I will watch every few months, just because it’s always enjoyable.
A few of my favorite quotes:
- Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I’ve hired you to help me start a war. It’s an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don’t think it’s right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word “think” escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy Brandy!
[turning to Fezzik]
Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland! - [Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. - Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know…
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: ‘kay. - Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me ‘splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry’ Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape… after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn’t leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That’s wonderful.
Westley: I’ve always been a quick healer. - Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: DROP… YOUR… SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]
And…lastly, but certainly not leastly:
- Miracle Max: Have fun stormin’ da castle.
Valerie: Think it’ll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.
Back to the Cute
Feb 16th
I make this look *good*
The Little Monkey decided to help his mom out with the cooking last weekend, and I snapped off a few pictures, because…well…he looked like this. Mrs. Monkey insists that he’s a big help in the kitchen, but I think she secretly just likes to see him covered in various ingredients. Luckily, this time, it was pretty straight-forward-ly chocolate, which all comes off with a bit of water and cooperation from the child. Which, as you might guess, is where I ran into difficulty. Apparently he thought that chocolate was a good look for him, and I could just go climb a tree if I thought that I was going to come after him with a wash rag and change all of that. After a small bit of chasing, and a rather one-sided conversation that involved me trying to convince him he’d be much happier without the layer of chocolate surrounding the lower half of his face, he allowed me to start the cleanup process. Which, in itself, was pretty interesting. During the course of feeding himself spoon after spoon of leftover chocolate cupcake batter (no eggs, so it was pretty harmless), he managed to lodge it in lots of fun places.
Did I get any on me?
If you look closely, you can see a sizeable amount of the goop-like batter surrounding his right nostril. You might be inclined to think that it stayed just on the outside of said nostril. Those leaning towards that inclination would be wrong. Oh, it was up there. My guess is that he had the spoon there and inhaled…snorting chocolate at age 1.5…. Where did my parenting go wrong??
What’s truly funny is that he didn’t complain at all. Apparently, it’s not an uncomfortable sensation, because he was pretty happy to go about his business consuming the chocolate if I’d just leave him alone. But, being the parent, it’s my job to crush all happiness now, and so his bowl and spoon licking activities were at an end for the day. But, they did make for some cute pictures. Good to enjoy now, and possibly when he invites his date over to meet the parents one day in high school… Nah, I wouldn’t do that. That’s what “first bath” pictures are for.
Disorganized
Jan 28th
It’s not entirely fair to use this title as the header for my first posting on the new blog, but it’s rather how I’m feeling at the moment. I’ve jumped in head over heels using WordPress (a piece of software I know next to nothing about) and I’m doing my best to work on two websites with it. I’m a regular webmaster, aren’t I? Yeah, not so much. But, it’s a start.
Thanks for reading. Come back sometimes soon – hopefully there will be something more interesting to read.
Change is Coming
Nov 5th
“A new dawn of American leadership is at hand…”
Barack Obama was elected as the 44th president of the United States of America last night. He is also our first president of African-American descent.
I don’t know that I can properly express the optimism and happiness I feel that my fellow Americans still have faith in our government, and still have hope that our ship can be righted and our problems at home and abroad addressed in a rational and responsible manner.
Until I can more properly express some of those thoughts, I wanted to leave you, my constant readers, with a couple of videos from Mr. Obama. The first is the “Yes We Can” video that made it’s rounds back in early ’08, urging voters to get out and vote at the primary and caucus level. But, it’s message is every bit as topical now as it was then. The chants from the crowd at his victory speech last night went “Yes We Did”, but that’s really not true. One step has been made, but there is SO much more to do. Mr. Obama never said those words himself, and I believe the reason is that he agrees – there’s a lot more to do.
The next set of videos are his acceptance speech from last night. The speech had to be broken up into 3 parts, but it’s really not that long (a little over 20 minutes all totaled). If you haven’t heard it yet, I highly recommend giving them a listen, regardless of your political leaning or party affiliation. As my friend Bill at Trusty Plinko Stick said so well, “I forgot what it’s like to have a president who’s a true orator. That man can *speak*.” Well said, and so very true. His acceptance speech is proof positive of that.
Yes We Can:
Victory Speech Part 1:
Victory Speech Part 2:
Victory Speech Part 3:
Please…Don’t Vote. Ok, Well, Maybe You Should….
Oct 3rd
What a great video this is…as long as people in this country still understand sarcasm. I think they do…I *hope* they do. I’ve made lots of assumptions over the past few months about the American populace, and they haven’t turned out to be as accurate as I hoped (check how close the race still is…), but I guess we’ll see.
So – the video asks for you to pass it along…and I request the same. Post it online if you have a place to post it, or just send a link to my blog or to YouTube so people can view it. To be honest, regardless of your stance in this political fiasco, you should be registered to vote, and you should VOTE. November 4th is fast approaching, and I would love to see this country shatter records for voter turnout. The only way it will happen is if we all go out and vote. So, register. Read…inform yourself…learn…share. Then vote.
Catching You Up
Sep 17th
I know, I said I would post again last night. It’s sort of true…I just didn’t do it here. Damn, what a great segue that was…
So, I have this pending gig as a blogger for a Dallas pro sports blog aptly named DallasProSports.com. They needed a piece on the Dallas Stars, who they want me to cover each week, by Monday night. Well…we had some family stuff come up and I didn’t get to it. But, last night, between helping my wife study for a big test she has today and trying to get some food in my stomach, I managed to scrawl out 7 paragraphs on the upcoming training camp the Stars are set to open, and that is the post I sent. I’m hoping it won’t be held against me, and they’ll let me keep posting for them, cause it sounds like a lot of fun. As of the time of writing this post, however, it was not posted. Maybe later tonight?
Now, other than that, I figured I would catch you up on what life has been like. Mrs. Monkey and I have finally come up with a plan for getting up with the Monkeyling that doesn’t involve us wanting to kill one another every morning. It’s revolutionary in it’s scope – get this…. We alternate days. I know! I know! Don’t spread the idea too much – we’re planning on patenting it. So, yeah…we each get to sleep in (8:00 AM) every other day. It’s wonderful.
I’m still working a lot of hours for my wonderful company and Mrs. Monkey is still going to school lots of hours. Those hours not taken up by work & school are ravenously consumed by the Monkeyling. But that’s a good thing – just peek at the photos that have been posted. How can ya not love that face?
AND, on a random tangent that has nothing to do with previous subjects, there was this new study released by the Journal of the American Medical Association saying that bisphenol A (BPA), a common ingredient in many plastic bottles, might be linked to more health issues than previously believed. I first found out about this issue when trying to find bottles for the Monkeyling. Mrs. Monkey was adamant on the “No BPA” rule, and after studying up, I agreed. For those who don’t know, BPA is used in hardened plastics in a wide range of consumer goods including food containers, baby bottles, water bottles, eyeglass lenses and compact discs. Many scientists believe it can act like the hormone estrogen, and animal studies have linked it with breast, prostate and reproductive system problems and some cancers. Fun stuff! Well, the new study that came out has shown there may be a link now with heart disease and diabetes in adults. It’s really not good. So, avoid bottles with BPA (or with the recycle number 7 on them, as they are most commonly found in those). Or, you can do what I did yesterday, and pick up a Sigg bottle. These things rock. I want another one already.
More Photo Entry Fun
Sep 16th
The Greeblepix contest for this month is up, and I’ve once again to submit a picture of the cutest little boy in the world (this determination is an independent conclusion, with no influence from any biased parties). How can you NOT think he’s just adorable, ya know? Anyway – real post coming later today. I’m such a slacker…
My Little Monkey
Aug 19th
My friend Aimee over at GreebleMonkey is running a photo contest, and the above is my entry. It’s one of my favorite shots of my little guy from this summer. Go check out all of the fun entries here.
A Thing a Year – Part the Third
Jul 27th
24. The human metabolic system is a finicky, annoying thing to deal with through the course of a lifetime. But, essential to life and all that crap.
25. Sometimes, I need to be reminded just how good I have it, and what a great number of blessings I have in my life. This also goes for most people I know.
26. Walking on a cold, snowy evening, where the blanket of snow falling is so thick that just about the only thing you hear is the snow crunching and squeaking underneath your feet: One of the best ways to sort through your thoughts.
27. Doing a job that you love has a way to make a work-week feel not at all like one.
28. It’s easy to say that you wish thing thing or that thing hadn’t happened in your life, or the life of a loved one. But, it should always be remembered that we are who we are because of the road we’ve traveled.
29. Everyone should write, even if they’re not a writer and no one will ever read it. You will be amazed at what you learn about yourself through the process of writing.
30. Tattoos are a wonderful thing, but should be considered long and hard before acquiring them. 5 years was just about right for me.
31. You can’t have enough pictures of your child or pets.
32. Getting back in shape at 24 was a much easier thing to do than at 34. “They” weren’t kidding.
33. It’s always good to take every opportunity to tell a loved one that you love them. Always.
34. A rudimentary education will take about 13 years and last you from Kindergarten through secondary school. A good education will encompass some years at a university as well. A *great* education is the one that seeks no end, and allows you to soak up new knowledge from every aspect of your life.
A Thing a Year – Part the Second
Jul 26th
13. Delayed gratification is a bitch. But, still probably for the best.
14. Drinking 1/2 an ounce of water for every pound you have, every day – no exceptions – leads to feeling better and actually losing weight. Weird.
15. Sports are a universal unifier, bringing together people despite economic and social boundries. This is a good thing.
16. It’s tough to hate family, even if you want to. This is also, probably, a good thing.
17. Everyone should grow up knowing the joy of a New England snow day; a foot of new snow on the ground, bundled up to feel like the ‘Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man’, and off to play with friends for a day of uninterrupted sledding, snowball fights and football.
18. There are at least 2 different ways to give The Finger in the United States. While only 1 is the correct way (oh yeah, that’s right, I said it, Zen Mike), both will land you in jail in Midland, TX.
19. It’s best to avoid angering bouncers who have significant others in law enforcement.
20. Hockey is the best sport, ever, hands-down.
21. Some people think that high school was the worst years of their life, while others think that it was the best. Either way, it’s still probably best to leave it in the past, to be re-hashed over copious amounts of alcohol, 5, 10 and 25 years down the road.
22. “A best friend is one soul sharing two bodies.” I heard this anonymous quote years ago, and loved it immediately. Although it’s kind of cheesy, it’s really the closest description I can think of for someone who knows you so deeply without any reason why.
23. Pizza is the best food, ever, hands-down. I once told a friend of mine, “You’ll know when I’m sick because it’s the only time I’ll ever turn down pizza.” I was 18 at the time. It’s still true 16 years later.
To be concluded…
