Tonight, my wife and I decided to enjoy one of our favorite movies after the Little Monkey had gone to bed. We put in the Princess Bride, and watched until we were both overcome with fatigue. The decision to watch the movie came about because of a random quote I had made the other day (as I’m known to do), and she says it’s been in her head ever since.
It has taken me back to the first time I watched the movie – gathered with some friends in my best friend’s bedroom, on the night Andre the Giant passed away. I think I was one of the last to see the film, but then, I led a pretty sheltered movie-watching existence in my younger years. I can honestly say it wasn’t my favorite movie after watching it, but it held the #2 spot very solidly. #1 is, and always has been, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But, what is not to love about the Princess Bride? As the grandpa says – “Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..” It’s great stuff. I fell in love with it immediately, and have treasured it ever since. It’s one of those movies I will watch every few months, just because it’s always enjoyable.
A few of my favorite quotes:
- Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I’ve hired you to help me start a war. It’s an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don’t think it’s right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word “think” escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy Brandy!
[turning to Fezzik]
Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!
- [Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
- Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know…
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: ‘kay.
- Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me ‘splain.
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry’ Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape… after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn’t leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That’s wonderful.
Westley: I’ve always been a quick healer.
- Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: DROP… YOUR… SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]
And…lastly, but certainly not leastly: